not quite as bad as i thought originally...

a few days later
i
understand
that
i'm not ALWAYS a *selfish bitch*
as i had previously described myself,
but
rather
that
i
have
m o m e n t s
of being a selfish bitch.

it's hard NOT to define yourself as that
when you're in the middle of it,
and especially
when it has to do with how i've treated
my kids.

radical unschooling
IS
challenging
and certainly
not effortless.
it is absolutely.worth.it. though,
the process.

raising kids in freedom
is
worth it.
seeing them as whole people
who are your *partners in love*
is
worth
every
second
of
it.

when my oldest
does something
i'm not thrilled with
and i ask him what was up
and he answers
*i don't have a answer that will satisfy you*
i
love
that.

it makes me
smile.
he is who he is,
he's not gonna lie to me,
or tell me things he *thinks* i want to hear.
it's refreshing.
:)

he trusts and respects me,
i know this,
because he has told me so.
and he feels this way
because
he is
surrounded
by love
and respect.
he recognizes and knows
what
true
love
really
is.

there are moments where i
screw
up
and act like an asshole,
and what i need to remember is
that
everyone
is allowed
to make mistakes, that's really
when
we
l e a r n
and then
can grow.
if i keep beating myself up for my mistakes,
and carry them with me,
then i'm doing everyone a disservice,
for
i haven't grown
t h r o u g h
them-
i'm
just
keeping
them
around
so i can make them again and again and again.

my oldest kid gets this
better than
i do.
:)

untill
now.

:)

xoxoxo