I've been realizing that a lot of the unschooling I do
is in my HEAD and
that I NEED to *take* it OUT and do something about
it/with it.

That's what a lot of unschooling is to me, right now
anyway,
it's really how the PARENT looks at and approaches
everything
but everyone benefits from it.
It's mindful parenting, it's realizing that your kids
are PEOPLE-
that they may be with you but they are not YOURS
that we do not have ownership over them
that we can not MAKE them or GET them to do anything,
that anything and everything they do is THEIR own
CHOICE and that their choice may be different from
OURS.
It's understanding what your own definition of
parenting and what a parent is, and what love is,
and making that REAL.
It's understanding our own triggers and things that
spiral us and
figuring out HOW to DEAL with those things without
disrespecting another person
or having our *shit* become THEIRS.
It's not about being perfect, it's not about not
making mistakes,
it's allowing yourself the SPACE to make mistakes and
also allowing yourself to LEARN from them and to not
carry them with you.
It's about understanding the connection between
PEOPLE, between yourself and your kids, your
husband/wife, your family
and honoring that even when your first inclination is
to "loose" it in some way.
Today my cell phone was ringing and it was in my bag
in one of 2 side pockets, in our kitchen.
I was in the living room nursing my youngest, Georgie,
and my oldest, Sett, was in the playroom.
I asked Sett to get it for me and told him where it
was.
He ran quickly into the kitchen, found my bag but
could not figure out which pocket the side pocket was.
Normally my heart would have been POUNDING from the
pressure I felt about answering the phone before it
stopped ringing,
my head would feel like it was about to explode out of
frustration and pure disbelief at his *inability* (my
perception) to find whatever it is he is trying to
find.
Instead of "loosing" it, today I heard my voice in my
head tell me "Do not get mad at him. He's doing the
best he can. He doesn't KNOW which pocket it is and
where they even are, it's YOUR bag not his. You can
look at the caller ID and CALL THAT PERSON BACK." The
phone stopped ringing.
I remained quiet, I took a deep breath, and thought
that he could bring the whole bag to me.
I waited to see what he needed from me, his energy was
good, not hurried or stressed or worried, but focused
and he asked me if he could just bring the whole bag
to me.
He brought it to me and I thanked him and showed him
where the pockets are, which one is the front and
which 2 are the side ones. He nodded and went back to
playing his computer game.
This VERY EASILY could have been a DISASTER. In the
past, it HAS been.
I was surprised to hear my voice tell me something
rational during a moment where I felt physically like
I was about to swirl out of control.
I'm not sure why it happened, maybe because I've been
*thinking* about stuff like this, about *shifting* my
perspective,
I've been reading about stuff like this and somewhere
along the line I decided to make it *real*.
I've been noticing how often I recognize that I am
feeling one way and I need to do __________ because of
it but how I actually do everything BUT_____________.
This is another part of unschooling, a really REALLY
important part.
Do not expect your kids to do things that you YOURSELF
don't even do.
Expect them to do what you ARE doing, cause HELL YEAH
they will.
If you do not brush your teeth 2 times, 3
times/whatever a day, DON'T EXPECT THEM TO. THEY
WON'T.
If it really is THAT important-why aren't YOU doing it
yourself???
If you are tired and the opportunity presents itself
for you to be able to go to bed and to go to SLEEP and
you do NOT but instead remain awake and grumpy or
unhappy don't expect THEM to honor their body signals
either.

Right now I am tired. Really, really tired.
I WANT to stay awake and keep working on this but I
KNOW we will ALL pay for it tomorrow if I don't listen
to my body.
I'll post more later :)
Bye for now :)